I had the opportunity to speak this week to a lovely group of 150 or so ladies. When I reflected on the experience, it occurred to me, as a speaker there’s a fine line in being well prepared to avoid “glitches” and just being flexible, learning to “go with the flow” when circumstances are out of my control.

It happens to all of us! Even professional athletes have games where they are just not “on top of their game.” These athletes have prepared themselves by practicing their plays and knowing their assignments, and just have a bad game. Well, that’s how I felt this week. My presentation was not my “finest hour”! I can say that with a smile now, but when I came home I had given into doubt, and needed to apply the very lesson I had taught! The lesson was titled, “Praise instead of Despair” from Isaiah 61:1-6.)

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me… to bestow a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”

I had been beating myself up, because from my point of view, everything seemed to go wrong. I had to use duct tape to hang my banner over my book table. (Thank God for duct tape!) My power point video presentation failed to play. Then a series of unfortunate events; I had an eyelash in my eye.  With no Kleenex available, my eyes were watering and I began to sniff, sniff, sniff. Then I hit the mic twice at the podium while I was reaching to wipe my nose. (And I cannot help but talk with my hands! I had also forgotten to ask for an earpiece mic.) If I had worn pants with a zipper, I am sure that the zipper would have been down too! I could have been better prepared, but some of these things are just life and I need to laugh!

I replayed the evening in my head, thinking through all I should have said. Why do we do that? Why do we evaluate what we said or should have said? It all goes back to the very lesson I taught; I had to entrust the event to the Lord, that he would use it – just like it was.

My heart was in the right place. I wanted to help others and give God the glory – so I had to give thanks for the opportunity, the grace given me by so many ladies, and choose praise! I had to remember that God is so much more in control, working in with power through his Spirit than my finite mind and unreliable feelings give him credit!

So many people were praying; certainly God was working among us. God did allow me to see some good from the event. I had to chose my thoughts, and think on what was “good, lovely, and praise worthy” (Phil. 4:8). There were two special things that happened despite my mess-ups, and that’s what I needed to dwell on and give thanks for – when God’s grace filled in my gaps.

The evening of the event, I felt lead to put God’s reputation on the line to prove that he is worthy of our praise. I asked the ladies to stand who had experienced God’s character, when during their suffering he has lifted them from their spirit of despair. If they were not in a position to stand, that was okay, there was no better place to let us know so we could pray for them.

As I called out the names and attributes of God the ladies watched…

“Jesus, our Deliverer, from addiction and abuse.” A few ladies began to stand.

“Jesus, our Healer, from physical, mental, or emotional illness.” A few more stood.

“Jesus, our Prince of Peace, in the midst of chaos and disaster.” At this point, many ladies rose up on their feet.

“Jesus, our Defender, from the enemies who steal our joy, he defends our cause.” A few more rose up.

“Jesus, our Comforter, in the loss of a loved one, and in abandonment.” More ladies stood.

“Jesus, our Mighty God, when they just knew God worked in a miraculous way.”

There was evidence of God’s power among us! I looked around the sanctuary, most of ladies were standing. I affirmed that our God was with us; he is real, alive, and he cares. (I was not too surprised to see the ladies stand, but I sure was thankful!) Yet I could barely see with the lights blaring in my eyes, there were several ladies who remained seated. They either could not or did not stand because they had not seen nor experienced what God can do for them, or they were still in despair.

There was no condemnation – we prayed for them. We “stood in the gap” on their behalf asking God to fill them with a spirit of praise instead of despair. We asked God to be – all those names, that he was for us who were standing. We asked God to reveal himself for those who were hurting and remained seated.

And God gave me another gift. After the program, as I was putting away my book table, a young teenager, came up to me and said, “Thank you for speaking tonight. What you shared made me choose a different direction for my life.” If God sent me to speak, and it was just for her – than it was worth it!

I had to praise God again! God called me out of the darkness (of my negative thinking) and brought me into his wonderful light (to see the truth) of his grace working among us – despite a not-so polished presentation! (1 Peter 2:9)

My heart’s desire and goal each time I speak, is to exalt the Name of Jesus, not make a name for me. So I’m thankful for the humble moments, learning to laugh at myself and trust that God most definitely fills in the gaps with his grace!

God can bring praise from despair!